O happy day

This just in: Opposition leader John Key has unreservedly
welcomed the Finance Minister’s announcements of tax
cuts taking effect from October.

“We’ve been calling for tax cuts for some time,” exclaimed
the National Party leader excitedly, “so you can imagine
how delighted we are. It’s pretty much what the doctor
ordered.”

Asked whether the Government hadn’t stolen National’s
thunder, Key crisply replied: “You mean we should
begrudge the people of this country more money in their
pockets? Don’t be foolish. We’re not in politics for petty
partisan gain but to ensure New Zealanders have better,
healthier, more prosperous lives.”

As for other Budget announcements, Key said he and his
colleagues were “over the moon” about the big funding
boost for faster rollout of broadband and “positively
ecstatic” about money being poured into workplace
training and skills development.

“Cullen’s really nailed it,” said Key. “We couldn’t have
done better ourselves. Now let’s all roll up our sleeves and
get on with doing the best we can for New Zealand.”

The media conference was interrupted at this point when
journalists spotted a fleet of flying pigs in the sky and
crowded to the window for a better look.