Sunday, March 29, 2009

Sabotage

‘I’m always finding very tricky and hidden ways to
sabotage any beautiful moment. And it’s something
so internal that I don’t think my friends or family
can catch me doing it.’—Penelope Cruz

I do this. Do you? Something in us resists completion,
fulfilment, joy. Doris Lessing once called it the ‘self-
hater,’ the part of us that functions like a suicide
bomber at a wedding reception. To recognize this little
fucker lurking inside your head is a great step forward
in anyone’s life. It will still ambush you from time to
time, but you’ll be much more wise to its tricks. Check
out its whakapapa too: it’s not an orphan. Its parents
are self-pity and shame, and its sibling is false pride.

2 comments:

Truth Seeker said...

You mean like when things are going great and everyone is having a good time and one has to open one's mouth and say that thing one knows will be poison to the moment. Nothing is gained. Something is lost. But you know where you stand, no longer disoriented by...happiness, or the risk of it.

ak said...

On the other hand, lemmings, salespeople and National stalwarts seem totally devoid of this trait....