Tour de farce

So it seems that there was more to John Key’s vision of
a nationlong cycleway than met the eye. Not a lot more.
But a bit. According to One News there were ambitious
initial plans to use the route for a Tour-de-France-like
bike race called the Sir Edmund Hillary Explorator.

Yes.

Actually, that’s incredibly appropriate, because it’s a
little-known fact that for much of their ascent of Everest
Hillary and Tenzing used a three-speed Raleigh bicycle
with snow-chains on its tyres and a specially amplified
bell in case they got lost. It was only discarded when
Tenzing froze to the seat at 28,000 feet and it took 48
hours to thaw him off it, though he was never quite the
same man afterwards.

Sceptics now say that the cycleway will never happen
but Key is urging everyone to be patient. ‘Rome wasn’t
built in a day,’ he says, ‘and neither is the New Zealand
cycleway going to be.’

Is this man a dreamer of dreams or what?